So it's the day before I leave and I'm nervous.  I woke up at 4 in the morning realizing that in 26 hours I'd be stepping on an airplane headed for San Francisco and then Seoul.  Crazy.  Now I'm thinking about all of the things I need and how much I'm going to miss my house, my dog, my family, and just how daunting this whole trip is.  It's scary it really is, I'm worried I don't want to leave everything behind.  There was a day in Africa when I felt like I needed to go home immediately, I missed everything to much and that feeling was debilitating. As I sit here knowing how much I'll miss everything I can't help but wonder when a similar day will roll around in Korea.  That day was three months into a six month trip in the Gambia and here I am about to leave for a year, so I don't think it's going to be a matter of if so much as when and how many times I won't want to leave my apartment because I'd rather be in Laurel MD, hopefully not to many times.  I think that emotions like that are best kept at bay by the things that remind you of home.  In Africa when I had that day I had lost my wallet.  I keep a few important things in my wallet as does just about everyone I know.  My ID, my credit cards, etc. etc.  I wasn't so worried about those things though.  It was the things that reminded me of home that I knew I needed.  I had family pictures, my beat up old school ID, notes from friends, and the fortune cookie I'd kept; "God will give you everything you want."  All of those things were my pieces of home that made it ok to be somewhere else.  I kept them with me at all times and they reminded me of how lucky I am to have the home that I do.  I cried when I lost it and I think that I'd cry again, because I'd lost my home.  Luckily it was returned to me by a taxi driver.  I was so happy I gave him all of the money in the wallet, some 300 dalasi.  I hugged him twice and thanked him more times than I can remember.   He thought I was crazy, and maybe I am but that act of charity brought me out of one of the lowest lows I had ever had.  I went out to eat that night to celebrate.  When I realized I had lost my wallet my world had come crashing down around me, the keepsakes that had given me the courage to be there, the foundation of my house of cards had been taken away and it hadn't taken long for the wind to scatter the rest.  In regaining it I was able to rebuild and move on but I'll never forget that day. 

I'm still sitting here thinking about what I have to pack, toothpaste, floss, batteries, deoderant, shampoo maybe, soap, necessities all of them, but what I really need is my wallet and the memories that it holds.  I've changed wallets recently, but I'm not sure if that's smart, I might go back to the old one, it's closer to my heart.  I'll have to refill it though, repopulate it with my license, draft card, student id, credit cards, family picture.  The fortune cookie to, I still have it and two new ones to go with it; "You will be fortunate in everything" and "Before we find ourselves we must first loose ourselves."  Well so far God has given me everything I want, everything I need.  I have an amazing family, a beautiful home, great friends and much much more.  I've been very fortunate, I mean, look at what God's given me, how fortunate is that?  Now I'm off to loose myself, but while I do that I'm going to keep everything that makes me so fortunate, everything that I love, wrapped in a tattered trifold that has followed me closely around the world, left butt-cheek to be precise, never that far behind but always in my mind.